Once in a far off land there lived a very spiritual man named Rewlopus.
Rewlopus was born a very unusual way he was born from an STD that escaped
from a womenís mouth when she coughed. He landed on a feather that was
floating so peacefully from a beautiful eagle. The eagle saw this and flew
down and caught him in her beak. She carried him back to her nest where
she raised him and loved him. The beautiful eagle loved him just like he
was one of her own eaglets . He too loved her, he even called her
The eagle loved him so much she made him beautiful wings. She took her
feathers that had fallen off her and put them together with wax. She taught
him how to fly, but she also told him not to fly to close to the sun because
the wax would melt. The wings came in very handy because Rewlopus
and the eagle lived high up in the mountain tops and he needed some way
of getting down to find food.
One day while Rewlopus was sitting in the nest he looked down and saw many
people dying from having sex, and young kids lives getting changed and
harder from having a baby and being to young. He wanted to help he wanted
to make a change, he was tired of seeing all of this go no, and tired of
seeing people dying. Every time some one would dye the eagle would loose
a feather. This would make the eagle harder and harder to fly which was
hard to find food. If this continued she would soon die from starvation.
He had to do something he couldnít stand seeing the only thing he has ever
had in his life die. He knew he had to make a difference. He decided to
fly down from his nest. He told the eagle that he was going to save her
and to just be strong. Before he left he gave her lots of food because
he didnít know how long it would take to stop this. Rewlopus jumped
down from his nest and flew to the ground to stop this madness.
When he got there he saw people having sex all over the place. He was appalled
he couldnít believe all this. You see Rewlopus was practicing abstinence
he was waiting for the right person. While on his mission he ran into the
famous Trojan Man the hero of all condoms. Rewlopus told Trojan Man
that he too wanted to help the fight against premarital sex. To hear
this Trojan Man was filled with glee. He was so happy that some one
felt the same way. They got started right away. Trojan Man escorted Rewlopus
to his giant size birth control case. When they got there they started
making a flying devise to fly around the world to spread the word about
safe sex. It took them about three months to finish their devise and what
they came up with would shock the world. They came up with a giant size
Condom as their air craft. It was magnificent no one had ever seen something
like this before. I mean this thing was huge.
Their main challenge was to reach out to teenagers. They knew all these
stupid kids were having babies and dying every day from sexually transmitted
disease. The two men started off in a fairly large city, San Francisco.
They heard rumors that a lot of sexually transmitted diseases were flourishing
like flowers blooming in spring. They knew they had to move fast and save
they city from harmful sex every where. There plan was to hold a giant
convention and preach out about sex and some of the dangers of it. That
failed only about 60 people showed. They thought it would be a huge turn
out because they had song and dance in their show. It was so pathetic that
they sank into exile because they were embarrassed.
Mean while in the nest the Eagle was growing weaker and weaker. She was
also running out of food. She was in excruciating pain. The eagle
would soon die if Rewlopus doesnít hurry up.
in Trojan Manís giant birth control case, Trojan Man came up with a plan,
he thought what if we take off in our giant condom and just drop contraceptives
from the sky? Then people would get them for free and try it out. They
would also drop little pamphlets of the harms of sex. The two men gathered
all of their contraceptives and headed off to the world.
Their first stop was again in San Francisco they flew over the city spilling
thousands of condoms and etc.. People started going crazy they had no idea
what was going on. People did pick up the things that they threw out of
the giant condom and threw them away. So they threw even more, something
weird started happening people started to pick them up and use them in
the middle of the street! This troubled the two men they wanted people
to use the things that they threw but not in public! Then Rewlopus got
on to the loud speaker and exclaimed, "What are you sick people doing?!"
"Trojan Man and I want you to use the contraceptives but not in public,
sex is a private thing you sick, horny people!" "Give me a break!"
The sick, horny people felt pretty sick and stopped what they were doing
and went onto what they were doing before that whole thing happened. They
then figured out that Trojan Man is a big idiot and does not come up with
good plans. Then it came to Rewlopus how about they set up a satellite
that tells you when some one is having unprotective sex! So
they built one and it worked. Every time some one was having unprotective
sex they would fly as fast as they could to where ever the people were.
The two men would preach and badger the two people (or how ever many people
there were) to use protection. The people would use protection just to
make them shut up. Trojan Man and Rewlopus warned them that if they didnít
use protection again they would come back and do the same thing all over
again. The people feared this and started using protection more and more.
Rewlopusí plan was working little by little. So that means the Eagle was
gaining her feathers back little by little. This was great then she could
fly and fend for herself.
It took the two men 10 years before people really started to listen and
use protection. Then miraculously there was no more Aids or STDS and teenagers
werenít having babies! This was great! Rewlopus could go home to
his lovely Eagle and nurse her back to health. When he returned he found
that it was too late it took him to long and the Eagle had passed away.
He was so devastated he didnít know what he would do without her. He buried
her and cleaned up the nest and he started no his way back to Trojan Man.
Rewlopus knew that Trojan Man would take him in, you see Rewlopus and Trojan
Man had fallen in love with each other. When Rewlopus reached the giant
birth control case Trojan Man was so happy to see him and he knew why he
Well Rewlopus was right Trojan Man did take him in. The two men both received
the Nobel Prize for what they had accomplished. They live very happily
married in their giant birth control case with their 3 adopted children.
These two men will always be remembered for the goodness they caused.